My Voice, My Truth: Balancing Motherhood and Advocacy in the Autism Space
When my daughter, AyraBella, delivered her original oratory, “My Voice, My Truth,” at a speech tournament, I was filled with an overwhelming mix of pride and emotion. Her words painted a vivid picture of her daily experiences as an autistic young woman—of being misunderstood, of navigating sensory overload, and of the constant challenge of staying true to herself in a world that expects conformity. In that moment, she wasn’t just speaking her truth; she was advocating for herself and for countless others who share her journey.
I am Ayra Bella’s mother, but I am also the Executive Director of the Autism Society of Mahoning Valley. I live and breathe autism advocacy every day, both personally and professionally. Yet, this dual role brings its own unique set of challenges—particularly the delicate balance between being an advocate for the community and being a mother to my daughter.
The Challenge of Balancing Roles
One of the greatest challenges I face is the temptation to use my daughter’s experiences to illustrate the work we do at the Autism Society. After all, her story is compelling and her perspective is powerful. But her story is hers to tell—not mine. While her journey has undoubtedly shaped my passion for advocacy, I must respect her boundaries and privacy. She is more than a talking point or an example. She is a young woman finding her voice, and she deserves the space to define her own narrative.
This balancing act requires constant awareness and intentionality. When speaking at events, meeting with community members, or working with families at the Autism Society, I strive to broaden the conversation. Autism is a spectrum, and no two experiences are the same. What challenges AyraBella may not challenge another. What brings her joy may not resonate with someone else. It is my responsibility to advocate for the entire community, ensuring that all voices are heard, not just hers.
Walking the Line Between Mother and Advocate
Navigating this role isn’t easy. There are times when I want to share her triumphs, not only because I’m proud of her but because they provide hope and encouragement to other families. But then I must ask myself: Am I sharing this for her or for me? Am I respecting her wishes, or am I letting my role as Executive Director overshadow my role as her mom?
This was never more evident than when she spoke about me in her oratory. She described how my extroverted nature—my willingness to talk to anyone, anywhere—sometimes made her uncomfortable. She spoke about how my good intentions often brought unwanted attention her way, making her feel exposed and overwhelmed. In that moment, I realized that even in my efforts to be supportive, I sometimes miss the mark. I needed to listen more, talk less, and respect her need for privacy and space.
The Mission of the Autism Society
Working at the Autism Society is a privilege and a responsibility. It’s about more than raising awareness; it’s about providing resources, building community, and advocating for acceptance. Our mission is to empower individuals with autism and their families, ensuring they have the tools they need to live fulfilling, inclusive lives.
But this mission isn’t just personal—it’s communal. It’s about listening to every story, respecting every journey, and recognizing that no single narrative defines the autistic experience. As Executive Director, my role is to amplify those voices—not to speak over them. I am constantly reminded that my daughter is only one part of a much larger, beautifully diverse community.
Advocacy Beyond Personal Experience
While my daughter’s experiences have shaped my understanding of autism, my work at the Autism Society has taught me to see the bigger picture. It’s about advocating for those who are nonverbal and those who are highly verbal. It’s about supporting those who struggle with sensory overload and those who are sensory-seeking. It’s about providing resources for parents just starting this journey and for adults navigating employment, relationships, and independence.
This role requires me to step outside of my personal experiences and into the experiences of others. It challenges me to listen without bias and advocate without agenda. It pushes me to be more empathetic, more understanding, and more inclusive.
Creating Safe Spaces for All Voices
One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned is that advocacy isn’t about speaking for others—it’s about creating spaces where people can speak for themselves. Watching AyraBella deliver her oratory was a reminder of that. Her voice was powerful not because of what she said but because she said it herself. She owned her story, her identity, and her truth.
At the Autism Society, we strive to create those same spaces—for children, for adults, and for families. We host support groups, educational workshops, and community events where individuals can share their experiences, their challenges, and their triumphs. We work to build a community where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
The Role of Allies and Advocates
But advocacy doesn’t belong solely to those of us directly impacted by autism. It’s a role we can all play. Whether you are a teacher, a friend, a neighbor, or simply someone who wants to learn, you can make a difference.
You can educate yourself on autism and neurodiversity. You can challenge stereotypes and misconceptions. You can create inclusive environments where people feel safe to be themselves. And most importantly, you can listen—truly listen—without judgment or assumptions.
A Call to Action
As I continue my journey as both a mother and an advocate, I am learning to embrace the complexity of these roles. I am learning to let my daughter speak for herself while using my platform to amplify the voices of others. I am learning to balance personal passion with professional responsibility. And I am learning that advocacy isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being willing to learn and grow, every single day.
I invite you to join me in this journey—not just as a supporter of AyraBella but as an ally to the entire autism community. Whether by volunteering, donating, or simply educating yourself and others, you can be part of this movement for acceptance, inclusion, and understanding.
Together, we can create a world where every voice is heard, every story is valued, and every individual is celebrated for exactly who they are.
The Power of Truth and Advocacy
My daughter’s voice is her truth, but it’s also a beacon of hope and change. She is teaching me—and all of us—that advocacy begins with listening and grows through understanding.
I am grateful for her courage, for her words, and for the opportunity to share this journey with her. I am grateful for the Autism Society of Mahoning Valley, which empowers me to advocate not just for her but for an entire community. And I am grateful for every ally who stands with us, working to build a more inclusive world.
Because in the end, advocacy isn’t just about speaking up—it’s about lifting others up. And that is the most powerful truth of all.
Let’s make a difference together.