For many years after my son’s diagnosis, no one mentioned “masking” when Autism was discussed. This subject came to my attention within the past ten years as more folks with Autism began speaking out (and being heard) on what ASD is like from the inside. Masking involves adopting expected behaviors in order to fit in better socially. We all mask to some extent – putting our best foot forward in job interviews or hiding our true opinions during holiday gatherings in order to avoid conflict.
Those with Autism, however, are expected to mask far more frequently and consistently to appear neurotypical. Masking is often demanded, rather than a result of choice. Autistics are asked to stop stimming (even though it may help them cope or concentrate), to make eye contact (even though that may interfere with auditory processing), or to curb their natural reactions to sensory stimuli (someone who dislikes being touched may find shaking hands or hugging aversive). The problem is that masking takes a great deal of concentration – meaning there is less available attention for dealing with anything else demanded by the situation, which can induce a great deal of anxiety about whether the masking is working.
More importantly, masking is the result of messaging (which begins at a very early age) that one’s natural reactions and inclinations are wrong. Being told one is overreacting or too sensitive makes one feel that they are somehow a lesser being. And this is a message that we should not want to send to anyone.
While masking cannot be avoided completely, let’s make a New Year’s resolution for 2026 to create and be safe places for folks to unmask and be their real selves in our presence. We can be a nonjudgmental haven for stimming, social awkwardness, and focus on a particular subject. By doing so, we can also model the same tolerance and kindness in the hope that 2026 will be a better world for those with Autism.
Happy New Year!
Kathi J. Machle, President
PS. January has a few special dates I wanted to make note of. First, January 11-17 is Universal Letter Writing Week. I see this as motivation to send at least one letter by snail mail – a card to a loved one, a thank you for a holiday gift, a statement of opinion to a legislator, or a compliment to someone who has been particularly helpful. Of course, this could also be a teaching moment – everyone likes to get mail. Second, the Autism Society of America is celebrating 60 years of making connections! Happy Birthday!