Autism Acceptance Month
Over the past few years, the Autism Society has moved to change April from “Autism Awareness Month” to “Autism Acceptance Month.” I have explained the difference as follows:
I can be AWARE that you have Autism, but not change the way I treat you.
If I ACCEPT your Autism, this implies that I accept your choices, preferences, and behavior regardless of my own expectations.
I’ve been pondering just how, in practical terms, to demonstrate that acceptance.
It would be great if everyone outside the Autism community could keep their thoughts about behavior (and perceived parenting shortcomings) to themselves. We’ve all had those experiences where a stranger feels entitled to say something like, “I never allowed MY children to stand up and jump during a movie!” The judgment of our child and our parenting is clear – and it hurts. The temptation is to keep quiet or to respond in anger. More productive, however, is to regard this as an opportunity to educate. Saying “my child is Autistic and he is excited. Please be patient,” may help the critic to think before speaking the next time.
So what are some ways we can practice, and help others to practice, Autism Acceptance?
- Remember that people with Autism may experience sensory input differently from you. The environment may feel hostile, and their defense mechanisms may be on full alert. Are the lights buzzing? Are there smells they can’t tune out? Asking if they need to change the environment (or taking the cue and leading that change) may be appropriate.
- Listen carefully and give them lots of silent time to process information and respond to questions.
- Don’t forget that behavior is communication. What is the person trying to say with their behavior?
- Provide visual cues or demonstrate what you are asking.
- Be on the alert for what triggers sensory overload or meltdowns. If you can figure out why meltdowns happen, they can be prevented. Watch for patterns.
- If someone with Autism does something hurtful, disruptive or dangerous, say so. Tell them simply (and without judgment or criticism) about your concerns. For example, “I worry when you run away in a store. I’m afraid you will get lost,” may help someone understand the issue better than an angry “I’ve told you over and over, don’t run away from me.” Talk about thoughts you say and thoughts you only think because they can hurt people’s feelings. You may have to repeat this over and over, but eventually these statements seem to be absorbed.
- Patience, patience, patience.
The books and columns by Ellen Notbohm, including “Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew,” are great resources.
Understanding what goes on inside someone with Autism is what truly leads to acceptance.
Kathi J. Machle, President