Neurotypical peers and caregivers can often overlook behaviors that “bug” them due to their understanding that these are attempts to calm or to cope with sensory stimuli. Or they have the verbal skills to say, “cut it out” or “can you do that someplace else?” But how do we help our folks with Autism to make similar accommodations for one another? I’m not sure it is always possible, but, at least, it bears thinking about. Understanding that these conflicts may be unavoidable may help us develop supports and preventions. Certainly, we need to keep evaluating whether conflicts, social or otherwise, have an origin in the disability. 

Kieran has become pretty adept at walking away from others’ behaviors which overwhelm him. For years, he told a fellow Special Olympian who screamed when his expected bowling score did not materialize, “don’t scream, it hurts my ears.” His friend could not stop the behavior and, eventually, Kieran stopped bowling, taking up bocce. When the noise from another day program housed with his became overwhelming, he first shut down, then went AWOL. At both points, the collision with the features of others’ disabilities became too overwhelming for him. In hindsight, I wish I had been more clued in to ways to help Kieran accommodate others’ disabilities, rather than leaving activities he enjoyed. I’m also fully aware that many of our folks do not have the privilege of walking away from similar situations. 

At this point, I haven’t progressed beyond defining this issue – no brilliant plans to study it, no solutions. It is just one more hurdle I perceive for Kieran and others with developmental disabilities – one more thing to consider in reflecting on what makes them who they are. 

Kathi J. Machle, President